Sunday, July 14, 2013


It absolutely amazes me how being with someone so… Jaded can cause me to loose sight of who I used to be. I all but gave up on myself, my values, my ideals all of it. I became this empty shell of a person who goes through the motions of life, tho they mean absolutely nothing. I have to face the fact that I too was pretty miserable.
Maybe I just needed someone to love me for me, I just needed a reminder that good things do happen to those who wait…. And I needed a dose of karmic justice to show me just how much I hurt other’s in the past. So I don’t do it again. The past month was hell, but in a week I started rembering who I was… Who I can be. I don’t expect anyone to understand, but I know one person who does. And I’m lucky enough that he loves me for me he doesn’t want me to compromise, he just wants me to be myself and he has known me from the beginning. He never forgot me and I matter to him. I had completely lost sight of what love was, until now. I haven’t smiled so much laughed so hard or been so happy for a long time. Looking over your shoulder and beating the bushes on the way out is tiresome, it’s draining… Being with someone you love who doesn’t love you is awful. Now I have a chance at the one thing that I needed in life, the one person I longed for all this time.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

In spite of it all....

This weekend has been hell on earth. Consisting of me rescuing two children from an awful situation, in the dead of night.... Me being accused of everything know to man. Me being called every name in the book. But here in this moment non of that matters. What matters is I am better than that. I am bigger than that and my heart aches for my attacker. He needs the love of God to help him through... His wife, his kids, his pets will heal
.. Prosper and thrive. I'm not so sure for him.

I am taking a moment.... A moment to reflect... Sitting by my element water... Letting it wash away the bad and leaving me anew. There is no other more clensing element out there... Maybe fire.