I am tired....

Everything is just so tiring lately, my house stresses me out to no end with all the packing.... There are just boxes everywhere! Thank god Brent will let us move ahead of time, gives me lots of time to get it done! I cant wait until its the 24th already... I just need to get it all over and done with already. I feel like its this looming thing... And my mother STILL hasn't talked to me... At least things with the brother are a little better... I am just so Damn sick of helping people out and ending up the bad guy. It's really starting to get to me. I try so hard to do the right thing... Somehow sometimes the right thing feels or goes terribly wrong. It's not just with my family, but they are the most judgemental... I keep hearing from sid how all Greg does is sit at his house and talk shit about me. That hurts but i keep telling myself that its only bc he is so miserable himself that pointing out my faults makes him feel better. Maybe that's true but it keeps me from snapping. I just find myself fighting back tears constantly bc I feel like I have no one in my corner... Not a new feeling but one that is really getting old... I just don't know what to do anymore... I just need a break.. a real one... I need my family to like me again, I need this stress to go away... And I need Michael to quit being so pissy and mean.. and I need people like Cindy and heather to stop running their mouths... It's really getting old. It's like one big cess pool of drama over there.. and Greg and Cindy fuel each other.. and its all against me! Me the one who took Greg in for ten months, me the one who fed Cindy when she couldnt afford food... Me the one who let's them leach my internet bc they can't afford it... Me the one who helps them out every chance I get... I have never ever in my life felt more unapreciated than I do right now. I sware, if I didn't have Heidi I would have a gun in my mouth.

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